


A Jumpstart for Your Loopy Brain

by phoneboxmug



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: 4.01, Basically season 4 episode 1.5 set directly after the episode finishes, Canon Compliant, Episode Related, F/M, Gen, Hurt Barry Allen, Hurt/Comfort, Missing Scene, Protective team flash, Season 4 Episode 1, Team as Family, Whump, missing episode
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:00:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24183259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phoneboxmug/pseuds/phoneboxmug
Summary: Set directly after 4.01 - canon-compliant, like a missing episodeBarry wants to return to his normal life but he hasn't completely returned to his normal state of mind.Spending six months in the Speed Force is still affecting him.Now Team Flash has finally got him back they intend to keep him.Eventual guest appearances from Oliver and Felicity.
Relationships: Barry Allen & Cisco Ramon & Caitlin Snow, Barry Allen & Joe West, Barry Allen & Oliver Queen & Felicity Smoak, Barry Allen & Wally West, Barry Allen/Iris West, Cisco Ramon & Iris West, Iris West & Joe West
Comments: 15
Kudos: 72





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always wanted more hurt, loopy, Barry from the season 4 premiere! It's such a cool concept and it was solved way too easily imho.  
> I've tried really hard to stay as canon-compliant as possible and explain a bit more about things I thought were missing.  
> The title is a quote from Iris in 4.02 - and there are some SPOILERS for post-season 4 with what Barry quotes from the future.  
> Enjoy! :)

The loft was quiet. Barry had returned from his duties as the Flash only a few minutes after he had left. It had been a drunk driving incident - no casualties thanks to Central City’s very own, and newly returned, scarlet speedster. He and Iris had gone straight to bed. Not that they’d gone straight to sleep. It had been six months after all.

Barry was now breathing softly having gone to sleep his arm around her. Iris was cradled at his side as she watched him sleep. She put her hand on his heart to feel it’s familiar pacey rhythm - even when he was asleep his heart beat faster than a normal person’s. She could feel the heat radiating from his body so snuggled towards him, remembering the cold lonely sofa she had spent the last half a year on. Even though he was out cold he instinctually pulled her closer and finally, with a smile, she drifted off to sleep. 

However, that peaceful sleep did not last long, it had only been two hours when Iris awoke to the strange sensation of her hand vibrating. She sat up confused and pulled her hand away from Barry’s chest. 

“Barry?” she asked her voice heavy with sleep.

Barry was violently fidgeting next to her. He twisted and turned whilst making strange strangled noises.

“Barry?!” she said loudly, starting to worry she grabbed him by the shoulder and shook.

He sat up, suddenly calm. Silhouetted in the night he looked down at her and in barely a whisper gasped in a faraway voice,

_“Caviar?”_

“Caviar?” she repeated, confused. Was he still dreaming? 

“Barry?” she asked again, gently putting her hand to his face. He paused and briefly lent into her touch before turning his back to her, swinging his legs out of bed and standing up now completely motionless. Iris crawled across the bed and reached out to him, her heart in her throat.

“Barry!” she shouted. Barry flinched violently. He turned to look at her, his hand on his heart.

“Iris!” he gasped, a broad sheepish smile on his face. He looked around obviously confused. “Was I sleepwalking?” he asked, getting back into bed.

“I don’t know,” she replied sadly wrapping her arms around him. He held her tightly. 

“Did I scare you?” he softly asked into her ear. 

“Yes...” she whispered. He squeezed her even tighter

“I’m sorry. Don’t worry I’m fine. Let’s go back to sleep.” 

  
  


The next time Iris opened her eyes the bed was empty but she didn’t panic. What had disturbed her sleep this time was a commotion she hadn’t heard for a long time. It was Barry whooshing around the kitchen making breakfast at super speed. She threw on some pyjamas and padded downstairs to join him.

“Iris!” Barry called a huge grin on his face at the sight of his fiancée. She couldn’t help but warmly smile back. 

“Sorry did I wake you?” he asked in between spurts of speed as he moved the massive spread to the dining table. 

“It’s fine. I’ve missed being woken up to this racket.” she laughed. He beamed at her. 

Iris sat down at the table and Barry joined her pouring her a cup of coffee. She studied him carefully, his behaviour last night still on her mind. Had he really just been sleepwalking? It’s not something he had done before, talk in his sleep, yes, but actually getting out of bed... Noticing her gaze he glanced up at her.

“What is it?” 

“Probably nothing...” she said as he shoved a forkful of pancakes in his mouth. “You really think you were sleepwalking last night? Do you remember what you were dreaming about?” Barry shrugged and swallowed his massive mouthful. 

“Nope. Just you shouting my name and there I was, standing by the bed. Why?” Iris frowned thoughtfully. 

“I guess I’m a little paranoid.” Barry tilted his head and looked at her with his big hazel eyes. He knew she was worried. 

“It’s nothing,” he reassured her, taking her hand in his. She smiled sadly back at him wishing she could believe him. 

“Anyway!” Iris said, finally digging into her pancakes. “What are you going to do today?” Barry nodded as he swallowed another massive mouthful. 

“I’m going to call a few people... Julian - let him know I’m okay, though I’m sure Caitlin already has told him. She said he recently went back to England?”

“Yeah, left a couple of weeks ago. Went to try and patch things up with his family. Losing you gave him some perspective on the matter I believe. He’d been covering for you at CCPD this whole time.”

Barry nodded somberly, Iris continued.

“Also, you should let Captain Singh know you’re back from your sabbatical in the Czech Republic.” Barry nearly choked. 

“Sorry, the Czech Republic?” he gasped incredulously. Iris laughed. 

“I think Dad just panicked. He said Singh was surprisingly understanding about it.” 

“Better brush up on my bohemian history then,” shrugged Barry. Iris laughed again. 

“But first,” he continued “I’m going to call Oliver and Felicity.” Barry put down his knife and fork and stood to go get the phone but Iris reached out and touched his hand gently. 

“Slow down a second,” she said.

He looked at her questioningly. 

“One thing at a time. Caitlin is doing some tests on you today, right? You’ll need your energy.”

Barry nodded and sat down to focus on his breakfast. He had this new lease of life and felt so ready to get back to everything he had been missing, to get back to his friends, to start living again. It felt like it had been ages, but also no time at all. 

S.T.A.R Labs 

“So how’s Oliver?” Caitlin asked as she attached some sensors to Barry’s bare chest. 

“I think it’s the only time I’ve ever heard him actually speechless. At first, I thought the call had dropped out.” Barry laughed. 

Caitlin smiled as she patted him on the shoulder letting him know she was done. He hopped down from the medical bed and tried not to trip over any wires on the way to the treadmill in the adjacent room. 

“Well, I’m sure it must have been a shock. With all the excitement of yesterday, no one had got around to letting our friends in Star City know you were back.” 

“They must have seen on the news that the Flash had returned though.” Barry thought allowed. 

Caitlin shrugged as she sat down behind her monitor. 

“Maybe he didn’t want to get his hopes up until he had heard from you?” 

Cisco then appeared wheeling in a massive camera. 

“What on earth is that?” asked Barry, stepping down from the treadmill to get a closer look. 

“This my friend,” grinned Cisco slapping the camera like a used car salesman “... is a fifty-thousand frame per second camera, with augmented audio. We’re going to see what you actually look like when you run!” 

“Cool!” said Barry, “I think I’d like to see that myself. But what has that got to do with your Speed Force output test we’re doing?” he asked Caitlin. She put her hands up in protest,

“Nothing! This is all Cisco.” 

“Might as well if we’ve got you here on the O.G. treadmill!” said Cisco and Barry smiled. It was really good to be back at S.T.A.R. Labs with the gang, everyone seemed to be in such a good mood. 

Caitlin gave him the go-ahead and he started running. It was nostalgic being back on the treadmill and it brought back memories of first discovering his limits as the Flash. The team had looked very different back then but Caitlin and Cisco by his side would never change. 

“Try going a little faster now Barry!” called Caitlin into her microphone “Mark 3 or thereabouts please.” 

“Got it,” he called back, increasing his speed. He could feel the familiar shiver of electricity in his veins emanated through his entire body. His step became stronger, the pumping of his arms became more rhythmic, and his breathing fell in time to the rest of his body. His mind cleared as he concentrated on his heartbeat. 

“Great Barry! Now slow down and we’ll have a look at these readings,” called Caitlin. 

Cisco got up to stop the recording. Barry, however, did not stop. Cisco and Caitlin exchanged worried looks.

“Barry?” asked Caitlin. “Could you slow down?”

But again Barry either didn’t hear them or didn’t listen as he continued to run his speed ever increasing. Caitlin and Cisco got up from their desks and ran into the treadmill room. Wind rushed around them as they hovered in the doorway keeping their distance from the speedster. Lightning began to crackle around him as he continued to run. 

“Barry!” shouted Cisco now panicking “Slow down!” 

When Barry again made no signs of stopping Cisco turned to Caitlin. 

“What do we do?” he shouted over the rushing wind.

“If he’s relapsing then I could grab the cold gun, but I’d rather not shoot him again,” she replied helplessly.

Finally after what seemed like hours but was only a few seconds, Barry began to stop running. However, when he stepped down from the treadmill he was still vibrating at such a rate his whole body was blurred and his eyes glowed golden with electricity.

“Barry?” asked Caitlin, coming closer to him.

He turned to look, there was a sudden rush of white noise and then finally, gradually, he came into focus. Barry blinked and his eyes returned to their normal hazel. He looked between them an expression of bemusement slowly spreading across his face. 

“Guys?” he asked, “Why are you staring at me like that?” 

Cisco hugged him. Caitlin fidgeted nervously.

“We thought we lost you again Barry,” she replied worriedly.

“I feel fine…” said Barry uncertainly. 

He did feel fine, a bit tired and a little confused maybe. One second he’d been running the next he’d been looking at his friends’ worried faces. Cisco released him but still held his forearms tightly.

“Not going to start telling us about how the stars are raining?” asked Cisco with a smile trying his best to add a little levity. Barry laughed nervously.

“No... what? Why?” he asked. 

Caitlin put a hand to his forehead, her brow creasing in worry. Barry edged away. He really did feel fine and was keen to not let something minor disrupt him finally getting some sense of his normal life back. He didn’t really want Caitlin eating up more of his day with even more endless tests. 

“I think I just zoned out. It’s relaxing to run with no limits, to not think about where you’re going.” he reasoned. 

“It’s relaxing running at mark five?” asked Cisco with a laugh that this time reached his eyes. 

“What can I say?” laughed Barry.

Caitlin frowned at him. This was definitely Barry’s worst trait and the most frustrating for his doctor. He would call it optimism, she would call it recklessness and she wasn’t going to let him get away with it this time. She turned to Cisco.

“Can we look back at the tape? You were recording right?” she looked pointedly at Barry “And maybe you’ll see that you didn’t just” she mimed air quotes “‘zone out’.” 

She turned her back to them and returned to the control room. Barry raised his eyebrows, Cisco gave him a small push as they both followed her.

“She’s just making sure,” Cisco reassured. 

They huddled around Cisco’s laptop which was plugged into his massive camera. He hit the space button.

“Here we go,” he said and the video started playing. 

In slow motion, Barry watched himself run, even at this extremely slow frame rate he still appeared to be going incredibly fast. Then it happened. Barry watched as his eyes started brightly glowing, excessive amounts of lightning crackling all around him - he could tell something was off. 

“Well?” Caitlin asked. 

Barry didn’t say anything, a knot of worry forming in his chest. They continued to watch as the video showed Caitlin and Cisco come running in and Barry stepping down from the treadmill. At the time Barry had only appeared as a blur but now they could see him clearly moving slightly from side to side. 

“Did you see that?” said Barry “Go back a second.” 

“What?” asked Cisco, rewinding slightly. 

“Your lips move.” said Caitlin, also seeing it “What did you say?”

Cisco started frantically playing with the audio settings adjusting the pitch and frequency.

“If you say this house is bitching...” He warned turning the volume up. 

They all listened intently. It was slightly distorted but clear enough. 

_“‘You two were there the first time I opened my eyes as the Flash. I couldn’t be the hero I am without you guys. Tell Joe and Iris I love them.’”_

Barry felt sick. He had no memory of saying that and had no idea why he even would. Cisco ran his hands worriedly through his long hair. 

“That’s a bit melodramatic for the current situation wouldn’t you say?”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those interested here are the episodes Barry’s quotes are from:  
> To Iris: “Caviar” S03E22 - when Iris asks Barry to get her caviar  
> To Cisco and Caitlin: “You two were there the first time I opened my eyes as the Flash. I couldn’t be the hero I am without you guys. Tell Joe and Iris I love them.” S06E09 - Crisis on Infinite Earths when Barry is saying goodbye before he sacrifices himself
> 
> Hope you enjoyed that! Chapter 2 coming soon :)
> 
> (I've been working on my grammar so if anything is off please let me know!)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joe and Iris meet the team at S.T.A.R Labs

CCPD 

Joe flipped through some documents which lay on his desk. The dullest part of the job was definitely the seemingly infinite pile of paperwork. He was still exhausted from the extraordinary events of yesterday: Samuroid, Wally getting hurt, Iris putting herself in danger, and Barry’s finally coming home. Joe was ready to call it a day before he even got through the doors of the precinct this morning. He sighed, probably a little too loudly.

“Alright there Joe?” Cecile asked, putting a fresh cup of coffee down on his desk. 

He looked up at her smiling warmly down at him. 

“Cecile” breathed Joe returning her look of affection. 

She was truly a godsend. He’s got no idea how he would have explained Barry’s behaviour yesterday if she hadn’t intercepted the message about him to Captain Singh. 

“Happy to have your boy home?” she asked as Joe took a grateful sip of the coffee she had brought him. 

He had called her last night letting her know her they had managed to snap Barry out of his ‘beautiful mind’ state - but she probably could have guessed by watching the news. It was being widely reported that finally, the Flash was back in Central City. 

“Did I hear that correctly?” asked Captain Singh appearing next to them with a fresh stack of paperwork in hand. “Allen back from his sabbatical - Czech Republic, correct?” 

Joe nearly choked on his coffee.

“Yes, flew in last night. Bad jet lag but he’ll be in tomorrow for sure,” he spluttered. 

He really needed to start thinking of better excuses for Barry’s absences. Singh paused and squinted at him thoughtfully, Joe for a moment feared that the jig was finally up, but today was his lucky day.

“Make sure he’s in tomorrow.” said the captain, putting the stack of papers on Joe’s desk. “And have him come to my office, first thing.” he finished over his shoulder as he walked away. 

“Yes sir,” Joe called after him, making a guilty face at Cecile which she returned. 

His phone started ringing. The caller ID said S.T.A.R Labs so Joe immediately picked up. It was Barry who answered - he sounded anxious.

“Can you come to S.T.A.R Labs? There’s a... problem”

  
  


The Loft 

Iris bit her lip thoughtfully. She had barely started writing her post announcing the Flash’s return for her blog but was already at a familiar junction. She could either stick to her journalistic principles and tell the truth, or she could skate around it like she knew she had to and protect her fiancé. The problem was that this time people knew she had been directly involved. Sameroid had kidnapped her after all, there were photos. It’s not like she could play dumb to that. Her inbox was already full of her newly reactivated blog’s fans asking her what had happened. Demanding answers.

Her phone buzzing was a relief as here was an excuse to think about this problem at a later date. However, when Barry had told her she should probably come to S.T.A.R Labs she knew it couldn’t be good news. The memories of last night were still fresh in her mind. 

Her dad had come round, also on his way to meet Barry, to pick her up. They spent most of the short ride silent both in quiet apprehension about what was in store.

“I’m sure it’s nothing major.” Joe tried to reassure her. 

Iris gave him a doubtful look. They both knew Barry wouldn’t tell them to come unless it was urgent. 

“Yeah…” replied Joe to Iris’ look. 

There was no kidding either of them - they’d been in this game too long. 

  
  


S.T.A.R. Labs 

As they walked into S.T.A.R Labs Joe gave Iris a supportive little hug which she returned. They were here for Barry, here for each other, and they were going to tackle whatever was coming head-on. 

They came into the cortex to find Barry, Caitlin, Cisco, and Wally huddled around a monitor watching a video. Barry looked up they entered, Iris gave him a worried look so he hugged her. She hugged him tightly back, not wanting to let go. 

“I think you were right to be paranoid,” said Barry sadly. Iris took a deep breath and held his face in both her hands looking him in the eye.

“It’ll be ok. We’ll get through this together” she said sounding stronger than she felt.

They watched the treadmill video again. The hair’s on Barry’s neck stood on end. No matter how many times he watched it, it was an unnerving experience. 

“Yeah, you’re definitely talking to them,” said Wally. Joe nodded.

“You're not calling any of us Oliver or Nora, so that's an improvement.”

“Is that what I said before?” asked Barry. They hadn’t yet gone through all he had said when he had had first come back and appeared to have lost his mind - something which it was looking like he hadn’t entirely got back yet.

“Yeah, said to me something like…” Joe thought for a moment trying to recall the exact words “‘I’m just not sure I’m like you Oliver’... yeah that’s it.” Barry stared at him and began to wring his hands nervously. 

“Are you sure?” he asked “Those exact words?” 

They all looked at him. Joe nodded. 

“What else did I say?” Barry asked.

They all racked their brains for a moment then Cisco clicked his fingers triumphant. 

“You were talking about physics! Said something would change the way we think about everything!” Barry thought about this and then turned to Iris.

“I’m talking about the particle accelerator. Before it blew up remember? I was telling you about it.” 

“In your lab right? When you came back from Star City?” she remembered. That felt like a lifetime ago now.

“Yeah, and when I mentioned Oliver, that’s what I said to him when I visited him right after I got my powers.” Barry pushed his hands through his hair nervously “I’d gone to ask him for help.” Cisco thought for a moment. 

“So what you’re saying is.. you’re saying things from the past, thing that you’ve said previously?” he asked looking like he had confused himself “But you’ve never said that...” he gestured at the video “to us before.” Barry shrugged.

“Maybe I’m not just repeating what I’ve said in the past? The Speed Force exists outside space and time, right? I could be saying something which happens in the future?” 

There was a pause while this information sunk in. 

“It sounded like you’re saying goodbye,” noted Caitlin sadly. 

Barry couldn’t deny that. But his team, a team he had just made his way back to, he wasn’t saying goodbye anytime soon. He knew that for certain. 

“We don’t know that,” he said rubbing Caitlin’s shoulder supportively. She smiled at him. He stood tall and addressed the room, 

“Right now I feel fine. We don’t know even if this is going to happen again. It might just be a hangover from yesterday? And if it's not, I couldn't be in safer hands.” he smiled at them. 

Iris had to smile back at his boundless optimism. Cisco cottoned on.

“Exactly!” he said coming over to Barry and putting a firm hand on his shoulder “If you lose your mind again we’ll be here to bring you back.” his words came across a bit more ominous that he meant but Barry just laughed. 

“Yeah thanks, I’m sure you all will,”

The room was suddenly filled with the familiar alert noise. One of their many city-wide sensors had picked up a bank robbery in progress a few blocks away. Barry had flashed into his new suit before anyone could argue with him not to. He was now bristling with excitement and holding out Cisco’s breaching gloves, ready to go and be the superhero he was again, but now joined by his friends. Iris turned to Wally. 

“Go with him.” she said with a look he knew meant ‘look after him’. 

“Don’t have to ask me twice,” Wally replied and with a blink of the eye, he too was suited up. He pointed cheekily at Barry. 

“Race you!” He said suddenly flashing away. Barry bounced on the balls of his feet. 

“Sure thing, Kid Flash” and he was gone in a massive gust of wind.

Cisco put on his gloves and glasses. He looked around those left in the cortex, the more cautious members of the team looked back at him with concerned faces. 

“He’ll be fine. And if not, it’s a good thing I fixed the pipeline cells last night.” he smiled at Iris. “You on coms boss?” he asked. 

Their relationship hadn’t been the best the last couple of days, with Cisco working hard to bring Barry back, and Iris forcing herself to believe that the sacrifice her fiancé had made was one she must honor. But things had been looking up since Barry had got back. He had that effect on people. 

“If you’ll have me Vibe,” she said with a smile. Cisco grinned back at her

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.” and with that, he opened a breach and disappeared. Joe left to join the CCPD. Iris sat down at the console, Caitlin sitting beside her and bringing up Barry’s vitals screen.

And that was it, Team Flash was back saving Central City from its seemingly endless supply of bad guys. Iris on coms with the map of the city in front of her, ready for whatever the heroes on the ground needed. Barry and Wally had the two would-be bank robbers incapacitated seconds after Cisco had arrived. Iris could hear them laughing as Wally chastised Cisco for missing all the fun. She looked at her phone as a message came in from Joe letting her know CCPD will be there in five minutes.

“Hang tight guys, CCPD are on their way.” 

“Sure thing boss,” replied Cisco.

“Boss?” asked Barry. 

Wally laughed,

“You’re the one who put her in charge!” he said incredulously,

“I know, but I always thought of her has more of a commander or a chief,” replied Barry thoughtfully. 

“Or a Queen?” asked Wally making them all laugh again.

Iris rolled her eyes but smiled. She heard Caitlin laugh softly next to her. 

“Barry?” she heard Cisco ask through coms. His tone of voice had completely changed.

Iris’ heart sank. She knew what was happening without having to ask. 

“Barry!” she shouted into the mic but he didn’t answer. He couldn’t. 

Iris turned to Caitlin who was frantically bringing back up the screen of Barry’s vitals. They were normal, normal if he had been running at mark 5. Iris turned back to her monitor and opened up the security camera live feed of the bank. Wally and Cisco were cautiously stepping closer to Barry who was barely visible as just a blur emanating lightning. The people in the bank were shielding their eyes.

“Cisco! Open a breach to the pipeline. Wally, bring him through!” she ordered. 

The heroes jumped into action.

Wally started to vibrate. His plan was to vibrate at the same rate that Barry was, therefore he would be able to grab him and drag him through the breach Cisco was opening. 

Wally concentrated. He’d caught a glimpse of it yesterday but Barry’s top speed now vastly outmatched his. All he could hope was that right now Barry wasn’t going that fast. Wally concentrated on his breath, on Barry, and gradually found the same rhythm. Barry’s face came into focus and Wally saw that his eyes were glowing with lightning which cracked behind them. 

“Barry!” he called as he stepped closer to him, still vibrating. 

Barry turned slowly and look at him, his expression breaking into a smile.

_“Always have to make an entrance don't you Kid Flash?”_

“Huh?” asked Wally coming within arms reach of Barry. 

Exessive amounts of lightning were scattering off him - so much more than a speedster normally had. Cisco opened the breach behind Barry and preparing himself, because he knew this was going to burn, Wally charged at Barry pushing him through the opening. 

Coming out the other side in the pipeline cell Wally shoved Barry against the wall of the cell. He winced as the heat of Barry’s lightning scorched his skin. Somehow it was hotter than their lightning normally way. Cisco appeared behind him and closed the breach.

They both stood there and watched their friend slide down the wall of the cell in a crumpled heap only to pull himself up again - still vibrating the lightning only increasing. Cisco closed the door which initiated the cell's dampening powers but Barry’s eyes continued to glow golden and the lightning didn't cease.

“What are we meant to do now?” asked Wally. 

Cisco wracked his brains for a solution. Then it came to him - what had worked before should surely work again. He turned to Wally,

“Get Iris”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter three coming soon! The whump is on the way, don't worry.  
> If there are any grammar/spelling mistakes I've made please let me know, I am editing these a bit once posted if I spot anything. 
> 
> if you're interested... Barry's quote this chapter is from season 6 episode 1  
> To Wally: “Always have to make an entrance don't you Kid Flash?” - when Wally returns and dismantles the helicopter. 
> 
> FYI my headcanon is Singh has known about Barry being the Flash from like season 2... minimum!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whump, comic book science, and WestAllen cuddles

S.T.A.R. Labs 

Iris and Caitlin had been running down the stairs on their way to the pipeline when Iris felt the familiar sudden lurch of a speedster wooshing you away without warning. Before she could even register the discomfort Wally was placing her down in front of the cell holding her husband to be. 

She could hardly recognise him he was vibrating so fast. There was so much lightning bouncing all around him she had to squint. 

“Oh Barry…” she said in a pained voice. Cisco appeared at her shoulder. “Aren’t the metahuman dampeners on?” she asked him.

“They are, it’s just not making much difference,” he informed her sadly.

“What do we do?” she asked him a growing sense of helplessness invading her thoughts. Barely twenty minutes ago they’d be laughing in the cortex, Barry by her side.

“Try to talk to him!” Cisco instructed urgently pushing her closer.

“What?” asked Iris.

“Tell him you’re in danger or something! It snapped him out of it last time!” shouted Cisco. 

He was right of course. Iris swallowed and stepped closer putting her hands to the glass, squinting through the bright light, straining her eyes to see her fiancé’s face.

“Barry!” she called. 

He didn’t respond. 

Iris couldn’t even tell if he was looking at her as his face was indistinguishable, his eyes still glowing. 

“Barry help me! Come back to me!” she felt tears in her eyes. “Barry!” she called again. 

No response.

“I don’t know if he can hear you,” said Wally coming to her side.

“Is he moving too fast? Maybe he’s on a whole different frequency to us?” supposed Cisco starting to panic. 

With a clacking of heels, Caitlin came rushing towards them, a syringe in hand. 

“This should slow him down.” she said giving it to Wally “You’re the only one who can physically reach him.” 

Wally nodded and started to vibrate. Cisco opened the cell door, the group praying that Barry wasn’t about to escape. He didn’t, he just stood there, still a blur. Wally cautiously walked towards him holding the syringe ready. Barry didn’t move, he was almost frozen in place not reacting to anything that was happening around him. 

As Wally found the same frequency as Barry he realised he was talking. 

_“She’s a scientist, we need her,”_ he said, raising his hands to his head, his expression going from a calm blankness to confusion, and then panic. 

“Whatever you say, Barry,” said Wally as he held the syringe to Barry’s arm injecting him. Barry let out a groan of pain and finally, began to slow down. Wally caught him as he collapsed on the floor, the lighting dispersing as the speedster became motionless. 

Iris, Cisco and Caitlin came rushing into the cell as Wally pulled the crumpled Flash into a sitting position, his head lolling to one side. Barry looked at them all confused, the lightning had left his eyes to reveal their usual hazel which were now rimmed with red and unfocused. He looked very pale. 

“Barry, you with us?” asked Cisco, reaching out to him.

 _“Yeah, yeah…”_ he said but he didn’t focus his gaze on any of them, instead looking all around the small cell, his face still etched with panic. 

“How do you feel?” asked Caitlin in a worried voice “That sedative is quite strong.” 

_“I’m sorry. I know this is hard to believe.”_ Barry continued as he tried to shuffle away from them but instead clumsily falling backwards, Wally having to catch him again. 

“Barry?” asked Iris. 

Barry’s head turned in her direction with unfocused eyes which filled with tears, he looked scared but at the sound of her voice, oddly relieved. 

_“You do? You believe me?”_ he asked his voice cracking as he again tried to sit up only to fall back heavily into Wally’s arms. 

“He’s still out of it isn’t he?” asked Cisco already knowing the answer.

“Looks that way,” replied Caitlin worriedly. 

Iris took a deep steadying breath. 

“Barry!” she shouted, making everyone jump, including Barry. She held his face in both her hands, as she had done earlier that day. “It’ll be ok. We’ll get through this together” she repeated. 

Barry stared at her and then slowly blinked his eyes finally seeing her properly. 

“Iris?” he asked then took a sharp intake of breath, flinching, clumsily attempting to reach his hands on hers. She let go of his face and met his hands halfway. He was so hot she could feel his body heat through his gloves.

“I’ve got one hell of a headache,” he said pitifully.

“Welcome back bro!” said Cisco happily crouching down to eye level with where Barry was still slumped against Wally. 

“Why are you all so… floaty?” Barry asked, his head lolling backwards again. 

“What the hell was that stuff Caitlin?” asked Wally as he jostled Barry in his arms trying to keep him upright. Caitlin looked confused.

“It should just briefly slow him down.” she bit her lip thoughtfully “I have an idea what this is, could you take him to the infirmary please Wally?” 

Wally obliged scooping Barry up with both arms. It was a strange look for them still in their superhero suits, Barry hanging off Wally like a ragdoll. They flashed away. 

“What is it?” asked Iris as the three of them exited the cell. 

“If I’m right, hypoglycemia” Caitlin replied.

  
  


S.T.A.R. Labs Infirmary

Caitlin scanned the results she’d just received from Barry’s blood test. With all the mysteries of Barry’s recent behaviour, she was pleased to discover his current physiological state was something she could diagnose. She looked over at the concerned group around her patient’s bed. Joe had his back to her as he stood at the base of Barry’s bed, arms folded, keeping guard over his foster son. Wally hovered next to him, anxiously moving his weight between his feet, his arms folded like his dad. Cisco was sitting next to Barry, his feet on the bed, the picture of a man trying to appear calmer than he actually was. And Iris, her hand in Barry’s, their fingers interlocked. 

Caitlin walked over to them.

“I was right, hypoglycemia,” she informed the waiting crowd who all turned to her as she entered the ward. Barry still was slightly lucid, propped up on multiple pillows. He looked pale but less so now he had a few IV bags.

“So I’m not eating enough?” Barry asked confused.

“Could have fooled me with that breakfast,” agreed Iris.

Caitlin pointed to one of the monitors in the infirmary. It showed a graph of Barry’s heart rate over the last few hours. 

“You can see here…” she motioned to a midpoint in the graph “When you were at the bank, your heart rate was at its normal beats per minute for a speedster.” she then pointed at a massive spike “Here’s where you started… blurring?” she questioned the term. 

Cisco clicked his fingers and pointed at her,

“I like it! Because you know, you look like a blur,” he said gesturing at Barry who nodded his approval of the name. 

“So when you start blurring…” Caitlin continued moving along the graph which levelled out at its peak “Your heart rate remains at this accelerated level. It’s like you’re constantly moving at an extremely fast speed, it’s just you’re not going anywhere. You’re burning huge amounts of energy, which has made you hypoglycemic, but not only that...” she looked at Cisco who jumped up from his seat. He tapped another screen which brought up a video feed of the cell along with a mass of graphs and charts. 

“Here,” Cisco said, rewinding the feed to show the events of the cell an hour ago when Barry was in there alone, full ‘blurring’ mode. Barry shifted awkwardly. It was one thing hearing about how he was acting but it was another seeing it when he had no memory of it. Iris squeezed his hand supportively. 

“You’re not just burning huge amounts of energy, you’re also expelling it,” said Cisco as he vaguely pointed at the various graphs showing god knows what. “You’re like a glass of water, and the Speed Force is like a faucet. You’re already full, but the faucet is still running so you start overflowing.” he tried to explain. Caitlin continued,

“It’s like, you’re so full of Speed Force energy that when you tap into it to use your powers you start overflowing the excess energy, and that’s when we see the excessive amounts of lightning, and you start to blur. Your body is trying to cope with this new massive energy output coursing through you so it shuts down other functions and leaves you in the state similar to when you first returned.”

The group stared at them. 

“Is this… a permanent type of thing?” asked Joe “Any time from now on Barry uses his speed is he going to go all ‘beautiful mind’ in fast forward on us?” 

Caitlin and Cisco looked at each other.

“We don’t know. Maybe? Maybe not.” said Cisco. Caitlin clarified,

“We can assume that once the excess Speed Force energy has been expelled from your body you should return to normal.” she said, “But there’s a chance, like with Cisco’s water analogy, if the faucet doesn’t get turned off, or if it’s broken, there’s would be no way to stop the flow of water from constantly overflowing.” 

There was a pause while everyone took in this information. Cisco interrupted matter-of-factly.

“We just need some time to work out a way of emptying your glass so that when you tap into the Speed Force you don’t immediately start overflowing,”

“So I can’t use my speed until we’ve worked this out?” asked Barry. Caitlin nodded,

“But not only that, no speed thinking, reading, healing…” she stressed the last point “The Speed Force is a part of you, you probably use it without even realising,” she said seriously. She pulled her old meta-dampening-bracelets out her lab coat pocket and handed them to him. 

“Probably best to wear these for now,” she said.

Barry took them and Iris helped him clip them on around his wrists. They glowed blue and immediately Barry could feel the constant buzz of electricity he normally felt in his veins die down to a quiet hum. He looked up at the group who all looked back at him with concerned eyes. 

“What about the Flash?” Barry asked. 

“Team Kid Flash has got you covered, don’t sweat it,” reassured Wally with a smile.

“Yeah, we’re not called that,” said Cisco walking over the Wally and clapping him on the shoulder “Team Vibe can hold the fort until you’re off sick leave.” he grinned at Barry.

The group laughed. Barry felt a weight he didn’t even know was there lift ever so slightly. 

  
  


The Loft

Iris opened the door to the loft. Barry still didn’t have a set of keys, or a phone, or anything that was in his wallet the day he disappeared into the Speed Force. He probably should have emptied his pockets before he left, but it’s not like he thought he would be coming back. 

Barry walked straight to the sofa and flopped down on it sinking into the cushions with a deep sigh. Though his hypoglycemia symptoms were waning he still looked exhausted. Iris shook off her coat and joined him. His eyes were closed but as she sat down next to him he leaned over and rested his head on her shoulder. She put her arm around him. He still felt too hot.

“Don’t worry. Caitlin and Cisco are on it. You’ll be back speeding around the streets of Central City in no time.” she rubbed his shoulder and he made an inaudible noise of agreement.

“It’s never straight forward is it?” he said with a small smile.

“No.” Iris agreed. She held him tighter and suddenly felt her eyes start to well with tears. “No, but at least you’re back.” she continued her voice catching as she tried to not cry. 

Barry immediately heard the change in her voice and opened his eyes to look up at her. 

“Oh Iris…” he said as he moved to wrap both arms around her tightly. She pressed herself into his warm chest - she could feel his heartbeat steady and strong. “Iris, it’s ok,” he reassured. She took a sharp intake of breath, losing the battle to hold back her tears. 

“It was so hard without you here Barry,” she confessed. Barry felt the tears start to form too. “You told me to stay strong, but…” she sniffed,

“You did stay strong, the team is still here, you did it Iris. You kept this city safe,” reasured Barry stroking her hair.

“I can’t lose you again Barry,” she said, knowing she sounded selfish but she couldn’t help it. When it came to Barry it was impossible not to be. 

“You won’t.” said Barry kissing the top of her head “I’m not going anywhere ever again.” Iris looked up at him.

“How can you say that?” she asked, sounding more accusatory than she meant to “You left, I had to go on without you by my side.”

“I had to Iris.” said Barry, also crying “It was my penance, I can’t change the timeline without consequences. Flashpoint was my selfish decision, I had to pay the price eventually. I’m just lucky enough that I have people who could forgive me and who loved me enough to pull me back.”

With that Iris suddenly understood his new outlook on life, so positive, so optimistic. It’s because he was loved. He had a family. He felt like he belonged. Barry wiped away her tears and smiled at her reassuringly. 

“I’ll always come running back to you Iris, just sometimes I need you to show me the way.”

They looked at each other, Iris tilted her head and smiled back at him, she reached out a hand to wipe away Barry’s tears. He chuckled and leant into her touch.

“I’ll always be your lightning rod Barry,” she said softly

“I know.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those interested, Barry’s quotes in this chapter are from Season 3 Episode 1. When he talks to the Flashpoint Team Flash and Iris says she believes him. 
> 
> the next chapter is taking longer than I thought but I should get it out in the next few days :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry manages to make Singh even more worried about him and finally calls Julian.  
> FYI It’s my headcanon that Singh knows/strongly suspects that Barry is the Flash.

The Loft 

It was now the next morning. Iris had woken up before Barry and had watched him sleep - a faint frown on his pale face. However, he soon woke up and turned his head to look at her smiling at him.

“Morning.” he croaked, turning fully onto his side and reaching out a hand stroked her face.

“Morning” she replied, “How did you sleep? You’re normally up by now.” she remarked noticing he still had dark circles under his eyes.

“Yeah, I didn’t sleep well.” Barry admitted stretching with a groan “I’m quite achy too. Maybe I wasn’t fully recovered before I put Cailtin’s meta-cuffs on?” he remarked lifting a cuffed hand and jangling it in Iris’ face. “No idea how she managed to sleep with these on for so long, not exactly comfortable.” Iris stroked his scratchy morning-stubbled face and smiled. 

“Welcome to the pace of normal humans,” she said with a smirk.

“Thank you for having me, I’m not planning on staying long,” he replied mockingly, shuffling closer to her and giving her a kiss. She laughed and scrunched up her nose.

“Ugh, morning breath.” she grimaced. Barry rolled his eyes and with a groan got out of bed.

“Noted!” he said, making his way to the bathroom. “I should probably get going now anyway if I want to make a good impression on Singh.” 

Iris sat up in bed. Her day was looking a lot less busy than Barry’s was going to be. For a start, she had left her job at CCPN many months ago and was now freelancing. She was pleased to restart her blog but the thought of finishing her article about Sameroid wasn’t too enticing. She was still stuck at the moral quandary of how much of the truth she was willing to reveal. She heard Barry turn on the shower so took that as her cue to get her ass out of bed and make coffee. She doubted Barry was going to have time to make it himself. 

Barry, now fully dressed, came downstairs to find Iris pouring two cups of freshly brewed coffee. She passed him a cup and he took it with a smile. No matter his current circumstances, his beautiful fiancée handing him a much-needed caffeine injection made him feel like the luckiest guy on the planet, probably in the entire multiverse. 

“Caitlin dropped this off last night,” said Iris pointing at a small package lying on the counter. Barry opened it to find a mini heart monitor. He held it up to show Iris. 

“This is going to be boring reading for her, I’ve got these meta-cuffs on” he stated. Just how many gadgets were Caitlin going to stick on him? Maybe she was making up for lost time during his absence. 

“She’s just paranoid, and as your wife-to-be, the more people paranoid about your health the happier I am.”

“Well if it makes _you_ happy,” said Barry finishing his coffee and coming round to counter to give her a kiss. 

Iris undid the button on his shirt and attached the two sticky sensors to his chest, wires attached them to a small device which looked a little like a digital clock but obviously had that S.T.A.R Lab’s flair. Barry passed the wires down through his shirt, pulling it out the other side stashing it in his pants pocket. 

“Bit clunky,” commented Barry as Iris did up his shirt buttons. 

“Don’t complain, and don’t be late! You’re going to have to miss breakfast.” she pushed him towards the front door. 

He turned around in the doorway and smiled at her. She smiled back at him tilting her head sympathetically. She handed him a handful of cash, his CSI ID, and a set of spare keys.

“Thanks for looking after me,” said Barry earnestly. 

“Any time,” she smiled and then giving him a quick kiss pushed him away “Now go! How are you already running late?”

Barry ended up getting a taxi to the precinct that day. Joe had offered to give him a lift but Barry had thought that to make a good impression on Captain Singh, being early on his first day back was a must. As it transpired, he was now running only just on time. Barry had managed to use the taxi ride to bone up on a brief history of the Czech Republic. Next time Joe was going to make an excuse for him Barry was going to pick it. He had never missed speed reading more. 

Barry entered the bustling CCPD precinct. A few officers waved at him as he made his way to Captain Singh’s office, one clapped him on the shoulder with a cheerful, 

“Welcome back Allen.” but that was the extent of his welcome party. 

It was one of the advantages of his secluded lab in the rafters. He wasn’t often bothered by the detectives unless he was extraordinarily late with an evidence report, and he'd never really made friends with any of them. They were all a different type of person to him and Barry was a bit weird, even before he got his powers.

He knocked on Singh’s door and opened it. The captain was sitting behind his desk tumbling his way through one of the many files which lay there.

“Now a good time Captain?” asked Barry apprehensively. The captain didn’t like to be disturbed, but to his surprise, Singh smiled warmly at him.

“Allen. Welcome back,” he said standing up and holding out a hand to Barry which he shook. 

“Thanks, good to be back,” said Barry, and he meant it. 

“So Allen, how was… Where was it again?” he asked sitting back down behind his desk, motioning for Barry to take the seat opposite. 

“The Czech Republic sir!” said Barry, maybe a little too quickly also sitting down too. 

There was a loud clunk and Barry felt a painful pull on his chest. He looked down and saw that the heart monitor had somehow fallen out of his pocket and now was on the floor with the wires leading to his chest pulling painfully on his skin. He looked up at Singh who was leaning over his desk to look at Barry hunched over. He understandably looked quite confused. Barry laughed nervously picking up the monitor and holding it up to show his captain.

“It’s my… heart monitor” said Barry realising that this was not explanation enough for the Captain. 

“Your heart monitor?” asked Singh a concerned expression flashing across his face “Is that why you were in the Czech Republic?” Barry decided to run with this idea making a mental note to inform Joe of this new web of lies.

“Yes sir. I have a… rare heart condition. Due to being struck by lightning, you see. There was a doctor in Prague who my doctor Caitlin Snow recommended.” he tried to reason his words falling over each other. 

“Caitlin Snow? The meta-human?” Singh asked, raising an eyebrow. Barry froze. Killer Frost had kidnapped Julian from the precinct last year.

“No, that was her… twin...” said Barry realising that he was only digging himself more holes.

Singh said nothing, only stared at him. 

“Anyway,” Barry tried to continue “I went to Prague for medical reasons, while I was there I decided to stay for a bit.”

“For six months,” interjected Singh. Barry laughed nervously,

“Yeah, you know, when was I going to be in Europe again?” 

There was an awkward pause. Singh’s stare seemed to penetrate Barry’s very soul. Barry put the heart monitor back in his pocket and smoothed down his chest sensors. Singh’s expression softened. 

“Well, if you’re sure you’re well enough to return to work, Dr Albert left us last fortnight so we’d appreciate you finishing a few of his cases as soon as possible,” said Singh curtly. Barry, gratefully, took this as his cue to leave. 

“I’m on it,” he said standing up. Singh nodded. 

“Don’t feel like you have to push yourself, Allen. If you need a day here or there, let me know,” said Singh sympathetically. 

“Thank you, sir,” said Barry, slightly taken aback by his Captain’s kind words.

“And if you want to keep your job, don’t suddenly leave without warning again for six months.” Singh finished returning to his paperwork. 

“Yes, sir. I won’t,” promised Barry hoping he would never have to. 

  
  


Barry’s Lab 

Barry sunk into his chair behind his old desk. The desk was usually a mess of evidence to catalogue and reports to file, but right now it was just a tidy pile of reports labelled ‘To Do’. Julian had kept a better ship than Barry ever did that’s for sure. Barry rubbed his eyes. He still felt bone-tired from his terrible night sleep. He fiddled with the meta-cuffs and thanked the stars that the Captain hadn’t asked him about those. Singh had been noticeably lenient with him and that was a kindness Barry was planning on repaying. His office phone rang, and Barry picked it up.

“CSI Barry Allen,” he answered. The person on the other end laughed.

“Back from the great beyond, I see mate?” asked the familiar British accent. 

“Julian!” exclaimed Barry 

The doctor sounded very happy to hear that he was safe and sound (relatively) and they ended up talking for quite a while. Julian told Barry about how his family were doing - how they’d been trying to reconnect, and how he had been offered a place in a prestigious university as a researcher. Not quite the same pace as being a CSI in one of America's maddest cities but the change was something he was happy about. Barry obviously didn’t have much to say about his six months. After all, he didn’t remember anything from his time in the Speed Force, but he did feel an absence of time - that was a feeling which was almost indescribable let alone relatable for anyone else. He also found himself reluctant to ask how things had been while he was away. Iris had clearly been hurting and still was, as were the rest of the team. Barry, ever the optimist was sure things would work themselves out, they just needed to reset things back to normal - which included his powers. 

“Well, shouldn’t you be getting back to work?” Julian finally remarked. Barry looked at the clock. They’d been talking for nearly an hour. 

“Yeah, and without my speed, this backlog is going to take ages,” commented Barry eyeing the tall ‘To Do’ pile. 

“Really? Even with your speed?” Julian asked. Barry played with the meta-cuff dejectedly.

“Yeah, my return hasn’t been as smooth as we’d hoped. Caitlin’s got me in her meta-dampening bracelets.”

“Fetching...” commented Julian, a hint of worry in his voice. Barry immediately felt guilty. Yet another person to worry about him.

“It’s fine. Just a temporary thing. Leaving the Speed Force is no mean feat you know. '' he reasoned offhandedly. Julian didn’t say anything, only made an inaudible noise of concern - Barry could almost hear his brain wiring. “Anyway, talk to you again soon, yeah?” he asked. 

“Sure thing mate,” replied Julian, not sounding any less worried. 

Barry rubbed his eyes wearily. It was now just past midday and he’d barely made a dent in the stack of reports. Super speed was something he had never missed more. He was tempted to just slip off the meta-cuffs for a moment, blast through the majority of this in seconds, and then put them back on. However, he didn’t want to make another spectacle in the precinct. From what Joe had said, he owed Cecile a massive thank you. Barry’s head was in his hands when he heard a knock on the door. 

Iris was leaning against the door frame holding a Big Belly Burger takeout bag. She smiled at him.

“You missed breakfast didn’t you?” 

“Iris you are literally my knight in shining armour,” said Barry 

“Calm down, it’s just Big Belly Burger,” she said coming into Barry’s lab and placing the bag down on his desk.

“Exactly, you’ve saved me from not only hunger but also boredom with your presence. My hero,” replied Barry making Iris laugh. 

They sat and ate the greasy food and chatted about their day. Iris had not only brought him lunch but also a new wallet and phone. His last having been lost in the Speed Force with the rest of his belongings he had on him. Barry complained a little about his tedious workload. Obviously, the best part about being a CSI is the stuff they show on TV, the crime scenes, the conclusions. They don't show the mounds of paperwork and monotonous analysis which took up eighty percent of it. Iris too discussed her frustration with her article. Barry sympathised with her predicament - how much of the truth about the Sameroid incident could she really say? Not only that but with everyone so happy about the Flash being back could she really write about how he was currently on sick leave? Iris gave the last of her fries to Barry with a sigh.

“... and we’ve got training scheduled with Cisco and Wally tomorrow, that’s going to be exhausting,” she complained.

“Training?” asked Barry. This was the first he'd heard of this.

“Yeah, it’s something we started doing weekly a few months ago, get the guys to learn a bit more about their limits, help them perform better as a team” she explained.

Barry suddenly was again made aware of his missing time, and even though now he was back it’s not like he could now suddenly join in with his friends. He touched his meta-cuffs again, Iris noticed. He looked like the kid picked last in gym class. 

“Don't worry Barry. We’ll have you up and running again in no time,” she reassured. Barry tried to smile - he knew she was trying to make him feel better but how much he missed his old life was starting to get a little overwhelming. He took a deep breath. All he could do now was focus on the current task ahead of him - which unfortunately was a mountain of half-finished reports. 

“I better get back to this,” Barry said gesturing at the mountain. Iris nodded looking at the pile apprehensively. She picked up their rubbish and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. 

“Don’t be late for dinner at Dad’s” she reminded him “Cisco and Caitlin are coming too” she added. Barry smiled. It would be nice to see everyone outside of S.T.A.R Labs for once. 

“Wouldn’t miss it,” he said as his new phone buzzed. He looked down at it and beamed.

“Good news?” Iris asked, not being able to miss his excitement.

“Will there be a space for two more?” Barry asked, holding up his new phone for Iris to see. It was a message from the one and only Felicity Smoak. 

It read: ‘Ollie and I are on our way to Central City! I DEMAND A HUG’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason this chapter took me ages. Sorry if it feels a bit filler-y.  
> The next chapter I'm really looking forward to writing so shouldn't take me too long :)  
> FYI I've not watched much Arrow so Ollie and Felicity's continuity is going to be way off. Hope that's ok!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exhausted Barry is a fed up with not having his speed. Felicity gets the hug she demanded. Oliver Barry bro time is interrupted.

CCPD 

Joe looked at his watch - it was nearly leaving time. His day had been quiet, almost boring, but when you’re a detective in Central City that’s a good thing. He’d only been called out once to reinterview a witness, an easy job but it had meant he missed Iris bringing him and Barry lunch. When he returned he had gone to check on Barry and was pleased to have found him in a good mood - if not looking a little under the weather with the dark circles under his eyes not getting any clearer. The Oliver Queen and Felicity Smoak we’re apparently now invited to dinner. Joe didn’t too much care for Mr Queen. His methods as the vigilante had been questionable in the past, however recently he had turned over a new leaf - apparently spurred on by Barry no less. Joe had nothing against Felicity, though her continuous hacking into police records was something he was choosing to overlook. Most importantly Oliver and Felicity were very protective over Barry and in Joe’s book that meant they were welcome to dinner anytime. 

Speaking of which - if Joe was going to have time to make Grandma Esther’s famous chicken parm he needed to leave ASAP. He grabbed his coat and saying goodbye to his fellow detectives he headed upstairs to collect Barry. 

Back in the day of Barry just being Barry, not being their city’s local superhero, Joe had often given him rides to and from work. He still remembered Barry’s first day at CCPD - he was nervous as hell. Joe chuckled at the memory of the anxious twenty-three-year-old asking him over and over again what his first day was going to be like. Lucky for Barry he was a genius so quickly excelled at his job - though all at the precinct were quick to learn that if they wanted their reports back on time he often needed a nudge. 

Joe peered around the open door to Barry’s lab. Though he remembered Julian leaving it spotless it was somehow already a mess. Barry, who was barely visible past a stack of papers, was totally engrossed in whatever he was looking at under his microscope. He didn’t even notice Joe walking in. Joe suddenly was struck by a sense of nostalgia - it had been half a year since he’d last seen his son like this. 

Barry sighed loudly leaning back in his chair and frowned, he was absent-mindedly fiddling with the meta-cuffs attached to his wrists - they were a sharp reminder that things were not quite back to how they should be.

“Hey Bar, you ready to go?” Joe asked interrupting Barry’s troubled thoughts. Barry looked up at him with tired eyes, then at the clock.

“Woah, time flies when you’re having fun I guess…” he said sarcastically stiffly standing up and collecting his coat. 

“Good first day back?” asked Joe giving him a supportive rub on the shoulder as they both exited his lab. 

“Thrilling.” said Barry his words dripping with sarcasm “There’s nothing more fun than finishing someone else’s paperwork.” 

Joe chuckled. 

They got in Joe’s car and Barry groaned as he sunk into his seat closing his eyes. In the dark light of the garage, he looked even paler. Joe looked at him for a moment. 

“How you feeling?” he asked turning the key to start the car.

Barry made a noncommittal noise as he pondered this question. It wasn’t an easy answer and part of him couldn’t be bothered with exploring it right now, but Joe was always a good person to talk to.

“Well, I’m a little… totally exhausted,” admitted Barry. 

Joe made a sympathetic noise but didn’t say anything, just waited for Barry to continue. 

“I think last night really took it out of me, I don’t think I finished speed healing before I put these on…” said Barry holding up a wrist to show the cuffs. They glowed blue in the dark garage. 

“Better than the alternative though.” Joe pointed out. Barry nodded. Joe continued in his usual calming tone “How else are you feeling?” he asked and Barry knew he wasn’t just talking physically. 

“Frustrated.” Barry admitted “I just want to get my life back - and it’s weird not being in control of your own body, your own mind. I’m just tired of this...” he trailed off. They pulled out of the parking lot into the lamp-lit streets of Central City. Joe laughed sympathetically. 

“When did you get so impatient? A few days ago neither your body or your mind was back with us. I’d say you’re making some pretty good progress in regard to returning to your life,” said Joe. 

Barry considered this, it was true, for him, no time had passed but for everyone around him, who loved him, they were just so thankful to have him back - and that’s something he would never take for granted. Joe continued, 

“Just give it time Bar. You said it yourself last night, you’re in the best hands you could be. I’m sure when we get home Cisco and Caitlin will be bursting to tell you their crazy new idea to get you back fighting fit.” Barry laughed,

“When I’m as old as you, I better be just as wise,” said Barry. Joe laughed too,

“That’s the thing Bar, I’ll always be older than you, and I’ll always be wiser” 

  
  


The West family home 

As usual, Joe had been right. The second they stepped through the door they were greeted with Cisco, holding a half-finished beer, desperate to tell Barry his new plan. Caitlin was also there and came rushing over to him as well. Joe chuckled to himself leaving the S.T.A.R. Labs nerds to it as he went to join Iris in the kitchen. Caitlin dragged Barry over to an armchair near the fireplace as Cisco babbled about his idea. 

“... so I was thinking, of course, my input and output factors are only theoretical, but the real question is how do you increase the output when it’s a force we have basically no control over, and one that automatically replenishes?” Cisco rambled. 

Barry couldn’t help but smile. It was nice, after such a tedious day, being around someone with so much enthusiasm. Cisco was definitely the injection of optimism he needed right now. Caitlin pushed him down into the armchair and pulled various wires out of her handbag. She saw him looking and pointed at his meta-cuffs. 

“Those need charging. They really should have been charged at lunch, they must be nearly out,” she ran a wire from the wall to his wrists and plugged them in while Cisco continued to babble about the output vs input values of the Speed Force. Caitlin then held out her hand. 

“Heart monitor please,” she asked sweetly. Barry dug into his pocket and pulled it out. 

“If there’s a spike around nine that’s because I was talking to Captain Singh,” he joked. Caitlin raised an eyebrow but smiled. She connected the heart monitor to her tablet and started sifting through the data her brow furrowing. 

“What’s up?” asked Barry interrupting Cisco who finally stopped talking to finish his beer. Caitlin looked up at them.

“Just these readings…” she said thoughtfully “They should be completely standard but they’re a little… jumpy.” she finished trailing off and scrolling back through the data. 

Iris appeared from the kitchen wearing an apron and holding two beers. Barry grinned at her.

“Hope you’ve not been let loose in the kitchen.” he joked. It was no secret that Iris’ cooking skills left much to be desired - growing up it had always been the men in the house who did the cooking for a reason. 

“Hey, pancakes are hard. And don’t worry, even I can handle grating cheese.” she laughed handing him one of the beers. He tried to take it however both his wrists were currently connected to each other and the wall so his range of movement was severely limited. Cisco discarded his empty bottle and took the one which was meant for Barry.

“Don’t worry bro, again I’ve got your back in your time of need,” he said sincerely opening it and taking a swig. Iris laughed again as Barry protested his beer being stolen from right under his nose. The doorbell rang. 

“Coming!” called Iris getting up and opening the door. Barry leaned to his side to see who it was. 

“Shalom!” said Felicity loudly literally bouncing with excitement and hugging Iris tightly. 

“Felicity, Oliver! Please come in,” gasped Iris through Felicity’s tight embrace. 

“Thank you for inviting us,” said Oliver stoically, but with a warm smile. 

They entered the living room to see Barry, looking pale, dark circles under his eyes, but at the sight of them, a huge grin spread across his face. He tried to stand up but nearly tripped over the various wires coming from him. Protests from Caitlin fell on deaf ears as Barry clumsily unplugged them and made his way over to Oliver and Felicity.

“Thank you so much for coming all the way here!” said Barry giving Felicity a hug.

“How could we miss your second coming? Or is it the third now?” she laughed releasing him and scanning his appearance keenly. He did look very tired which was a strange for the speedster normally so full of life. He did look happy though. Barry turned to give Oliver a hug but Oliver held out his hand for a handshake instead. Barry laughed but took it. 

“Good to have you back Barry,” said Oliver with a warm smile.

“Good to be back,” said Barry grinning back at him. 

A few moments later Wally also arrived and after a few drinks, Joe announced that dinner was served and they all sat down to eat. Grandma Esther’s famous chicken parm unsurprisingly went down a treat. Oliver and Felicity seemed hesitant to talk about Star City, they appeared to have had a stressful few months and were glad to be out of town. Cisco, Wally, and Felicity started talking about Game of Thrones which Barry pointed out he had obviously missed the new season. Cisco assured him he will help him catch up. The conversation eventually got around to Barry’s current condition. Barry was a subject that Barry himself was not all too keen on, especially with all these concerned eyes staring at him. 

“I feel fine,” said Barry but even without the doubtful looks he received he knew he wasn’t fooling anyone. He had struggled to finish his plate and had not opted for seconds. He was also starting to feel his eyelids droop but hell if he was going to turn in early. Oliver and Felicity were barely ever in Central City and he wasn’t going to miss their visit just because he was a little tired.

“Bar…” said Joe warningly. Barry rolled his eyes, 

“I mean, yeah, I’ve been a little tired today, and can’t wait to get these off… ” he elaborated holding up the meta-cuffs “... would have been nice to have my super speed to deal with the mountain of paperwork I had to do today.” he continued. Felicity looked at him aghast.

“You went back to work today?” she asked amazed. Barry shugged,

“Yeah, I’d already been gone for six months, had to go back if I still wanted my job.”

“How did Singh take your absence?” asked Oliver

“Really well actually… Oh, Joe!” exclaimed Barry suddenly remembering, “I told him I went to the Czech Republic for my 'heart condition'.” said Barry making air quotes.

“You guys need to come up with better excuses,” commented Felicity under her breath. Oliver said nothing - just scowled thoughtfully. 

“So Cisco, what were you saying earlier? You have a plan right?” asked Iris. Cisco slapped his hand down on the table excitedly.

“Oh do I!” he declared “I’ve only got the prototype built right now but…” he thought for a moment “to put it in layman terms...”

“Please do,” said Wally

“I've been working on a massive Speed Force magnet - though obviously not a magnet, but you get what I mean. The plan is... we use the meta-dampening-cuffs to cut Barry off from the Speed Force, turn on the Speed Force magnet - the name is working progress don’t worry - sap all the six months worth of Speed Force out of your system, take the meta-cuffs off and BAM! Hopefully, that will reset you so you’ll stop being ‘life-spoilers central’ and back to your usual speedy self!” said Cisco. Caitlin interjected.

“It would be good if we could do a little test beforehand, we’ve got no idea what forcefully pulling the Speed Force out of you could do to your body.”

“It’s happened before though,” commented Barry “When Zoom stole my Speed, remember?” 

“Yes, but he was really taking your connection to the Speed Force, and he wasn’t taking six months worth of energy. We’re trying to keep your connection obviously,” said Caitlin. 

Felicity and Oliver exchanged bewildered looks. Life was certainly different in Central City. 

After dessert, the group went to the living room to relax but apparently tired of so much socialising Oliver went outside to sit on the porch. Barry grabbed the last couple of beers and followed him out. He closed the door behind them and sat down next to Oliver handing him a beer which he took with a small thanks. It was a quiet night, the suburbs usually were. 

“Thanks for visiting, it’s really great to see you guys,” said Barry. 

“Of course Barry. It was impossible to keep Felicity away, we thought you were gone for good for six months,” said Oliver earnestly. 

“Doesn’t feel like that long… for me I mean,” said Barry sadly. Oliver looked at him.

“What does it feel like?” he asked. Barry thought for a moment.

“It’s like... I can feel this absence of time, the last thing I remember is taking my mom’s hand and following her into the Speed Force, there was this white light, it was warm, comforting…” he trailed off but Oliver didn’t interrupt. He just waited for Barry to continue, to go at his own pace. “... and then it’s like I was being dragged out of a deep sleep, suddenly I’m aware that Iris is in trouble and my whole body feels like it’s vibrating with energy. Then I was running to save her. It was like no time had passed from going into the Speed Force, but also that so much time had passed.” Barry laughed “I’m not making any sense am I?” he asked. Oliver chuckled softly,

“I was following you for a moment but then I’ve got to admit you lost me.” 

They sat in comfortable silence looking out at the empty street in front of them. Barry watched as the wind rustled through the trees, heard the sounds of distant traffic from the heart of Central City, he had nearly lost all of this. He’d nearly lost it many times in fact. The decision to save the city by stabilising the Speed Force had been the right one of course, but suddenly the thought of one day again maybe having to say goodbye to all of it, to his life, to Iris… it ran a chill down his spine. 

“Hey…” said Oliver interrupting his thoughts - Barry had nearly forgotten he was there. “What’s that face for?” he asked. Barry suddenly realised he was clenching his jaw. He laughed nervously and took a sip of his beer but Oliver didn’t seem to be letting him brush this one off. “Tell me.” Barry thought. Oliver out of everyone he knew would probably understand best. 

“How do I do it again? How do I know if I’m brave enough to make the sacrifice and never seeing my family again? I nearly didn’t make it back this time - and at the time I was sure I wasn’t going to… I just don’t want to have to say goodbye again.” said Barry sadly. He bowed his head suddenly feeling guilty for his omission of weakness. 

“The reasons we want to stay is the reason we are able to make that sacrifice.” said Oliver simply “At a time of crisis you knew that, and you’ll know it again. It’s what makes you the hero you are.” 

Barry nodded. His throat felt tight but he looked up at the peaceful empty street. This time rather than the faraway traffic Barry found himself listening to the laughter coming from inside the house. He smiled. Oliver was right - and he wasn’t going to waste this second chance no matter how long he had it for. 

Barry straightened up and took the last swig of his beer. Oliver looked over at him pleased that Barry seemed to have taken his words to heart - he was a good man and an even better hero. But something caught his eye as he watched Barry place the bottle down on the porch. The meta-cuffs which usually emitted a bright blue light looked different. 

“Those normally glow right?” asked Oliver. Barry looked down at his wrist to see that his meta-cuff appeared to be off. Frantically he looked at his other wrist to see the faint blue light fade into darkness. Feeling the panic rising he looked up at Oliver.

“Do you need to go back in and charge them?” Oliver asked but Barry didn’t reply. Oliver watched as his friend’s eyes began to slip out of focus.

“Barry?” Oliver asked, his heart sinking. He reached out and touched his arm and even through his shirt he could feel how hot he was. “Barry!” Oliver called again. Barry, eyes still unfocused, gave him a small smile.

 _“Yeah, super speed has it’s plusses and it’s minuses.”_

“What?” asked Oliver quickly withdrawing his hand as Barry skin suddenly became burning hot. Then Barry started to vibrate and all Oliver could see of him was a blur. Oliver lept to his feet and wrenched open the front door shouting inside for people’s attention. They came rushing out. Iris in the lead reaching Barry first and kneeling down next to her fiance. 

“Barry!” she called but there was no response. She looked helplessly at everyone who was piling through the door. She turned to Wally. “Wally! Can you grab him?” she asked but before she could even finish her sentence Barry was gone in a rush of wind and lightning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit’s kicking off! 
> 
> Sorry if there are a few spelling/grammar problems. I had a busy week and wasn't able to proofread this as much as I hoped. 
> 
> “Yeah, super speed has it’s plusses and it’s minuses.” is from Supergirl Elseworld cross over 4x09 - Barry and Oliver talking in the bar at the end
> 
> Two chapters left UPDATE: chapter 6 is nearly finished but I've been back at work so havn't been able to finish it. Hope you dont mind the wait!


End file.
